The Hat That Started It All

 

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Robby was born at 1 pound 4.4 ounces and 12 inches long. He was early and tiny, but he was perfect. When you go into premature labor, you aren’t prepared. We weren’t prepared. We didn’t have a camera, and we didn’t have a special hat or blanket for him.

 

Our kind nurse searched high and low for a hat at the hospital that would be small enough to fit his tiny head. Though there weren’t any tiny enough, she came back with a very precious small blue hat with a pom pom on the top.

 

The hat that Robby wore was so special to me. Yes it was too big, but it was special because he wore it. Even after I no longer had Robby to hold onto, I had his hat. It brought me comfort on countless occasions when I needed to feel close him. I slept with it, I carried it around in my hoodie pocket when I was at home, and when I left I put it into my purse and took it along. I didn’t have my baby, but I had that small piece of him.

 

As time went on that hat stayed at home when I left, and stayed under my pillow when I got up. Eventually it got put away in Robby’s memory box. As my grief journey progressed I stopped relying on the comfort of that hat; however, that does not mean that it means any less to me.

 

I don’t know the woman who so lovingly made this hat for me. She won’t ever know how much that little blue hat means to me, and what it represents.

 

It isn’t just a hat. It represents Robby’s life. It was a short life, but he mattered, he was loved, and he was here. That hat is a physical reminder of his existence.

 

That little blue hat with a pom pom on the top is what started Project Robby. It helped me get through some of the absolute hardest days of my life.

 

This is why it is our mission at Project Robby to make sure that every parent not only has something special to hold onto, but that the hat and blanket is the correct size for their baby.

 

All babies are special no matter how tiny, premature, or short their life here on Earth.

_Amanda