Category: Blog

About four years ago, we received a package of hats from a volunteer who actually was local to our area. In her package, she had enclosed various sizes of hats. It is not unusual for us to receive various sizes of hats; however, what was unusual was that the sizing of these hats started at 4 weeks gestation. When we opened up the box we just sat and stared in awe at them. We were completely amazed at how tiny those hats were. At the time, we were sending out sets to bereavement photographers and hospitals. Most hospitals have rules about how far along you have to be in order to be in the Labor and Delivery Unit (at that time it was usually around 16 weeks) and although some bereavement photographers will not take photos of babies younger than about 16-18 weeks gestation, many won’t take pictures of babies less than 22 or 23 weeks gestation. Because of these rules, we were only sending out sets as small as 14-16 weeks gestation.

So, we put the smallest sized hats that came to us in size/age labeled baggies away on a shelf. Although they were amazing to see, we weren’t sure how we would be able to use the 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, or even 12 weeks gestation sized hats.

Fast forward a few months later: We received an email from a woman asking if we had anything that was 12 weeks sized for a friend of hers who had just lost her baby. Well, thanks to the woman who had sent us those tiny hats, we sure did and we were able to match up a 12 week gestation hat with a blanket we already had on hand and we sent it off to this grieving mother.

A couple of months later, I had a very dear friend who lost one of her twins at 8 weeks gestation. I was able to get out our 8 weeks gestation baggy of teeny tiny hats to send her something special.

A couple of weeks passed by and we had another request, but this time it was for an angel lost at 7 weeks gestation.

That is when we realized the overwhelming need for these teeny tiny hats, blankets, and angel wings.

When Project Robby started, our goal was to send hats to hospitals and bereavement photographers, but that mission overlooked a whole group of women who have also lost their babies. Many of these women might not have gotten to hold their baby in their arms, but that doesn’t make their baby any less important.

 

Your baby is important no matter how long you carried him/her.

 

We are honored to offer Keepsake Sets to women who have lost a baby no matter how early because we truly believe that all babies are special no matter how tiny, premature, or brief their life here on Earth. ♥

 

 

 

Last week this picture popped up in my “On This Day” feature on Facebook.

 

Three years ago, my mom took this picture of me as I was starting my first day of Graduate School at Lubbock Christian University. When you look at this picture, what do you see? From the outside looking in, you see me sitting at my desk excited about starting my new journey.

However, what you can’t see is what was really going on that day. On that very day three years ago I was miscarrying.

I don’t talk about that loss very often, but when that picture pops up each year, I can’t help but wonder who those little babies (multiples) would have been. It was an early miscarriage at 9 weeks, and we had not announced the pregnancy and we had not told very many people, just family and close friends.

There are many different ways that women grieve the baby that they have lost. I, personally, spent a fair amount of time crying, eating  large amounts of ice cream, and I did not really talk about it much- with anyone. I internalized my loss by retreating from friends and family. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t love those babies, that is just how I personally grieved for my loss.

Some women talk about their losses openly.

Some women need something physical to hold onto after they have lost their baby.

Some women wake up the next morning and continue on because that is what they need to do.

Grief is different for everyone. It does not look the same for me as it might for someone else. Although there were similarities, my grief journey was different between my loss with Robby and the loss with my miscarriage.

As someone who is a big supporter of breaking the silence surrounding pregnancy and infant loss, I will admit that I have not spoken out very much about my miscarriage 3 years ago. When you open up about a miscarriage, it opens yourself up for judgement on how you handle it.

 

I want to remind myself, as well as those reading this:

 

There is no wrong way to grieve.

 

There is no timeline for grief.

 

At Project Robby we recognize that the journey after losing a child does not look the same for everyone. What is helpful to someone might not be helpful to someone else.

 

If having something tangible to hold onto would help you in your grief journey, please fill out our request form. We would be honored to pick out a hat, blanket, and angel wing for you. ♥

 

What is the point of a Keepsake Set

When looking at a tiny 6 week sized gestation hat that has been posted, we have been asked the question more than once:

What is the point of this?

We have also been asked:

A baby this size wouldn’t actually be able to wear this hat, so why would you ask people to spend their time and money to make and ship these, and why would these volunteers actually  do it?

Here is my answer:Yes, this tiny little hat might not look like much to some, but to the parents who will receive it, it symbolizes a life. It symbolizes the love that the parents  had and will forever continue to have for this precious little life that was gone too soon. It symbolizes the answered prayers, the morning sickness, the positive pregnancy test, and the hopes and dreams that these parents had for this life. Although this ittiest bittiest hat, blanket, and angel wing might look like not much to some people, to others it represents the life of a baby that was desperately wanted.

To request a Project Robby Keepsake Set click HERE

 

4 years ago today I very nervously published a blog post asking our friends to help us raise 50 tiny hats and 50 tiny blankets for the hospital where Robby was born. I wanted to use that donation as a way to honor Robby’s short life. I wanted to give other families enduring the heartbreaking loss of a child something appropriately sized for their baby. I wanted for the nurses at the hospital to not have to search high and low to find a hat that would come at least somewhat close to fit a baby born prematurely and who wouldn’t survive.

 

4 years ago I never would have dreamed the journey that we would go on because of that original blog post, and how it would change our lives.

 

We have met some of the most amazing people because of Project Robby. I have been connected with hundreds and even thousands of women who have also lost children. So many have shared their loss stories with me and we have not only cried together, but we have helped each other heal.   I have also been connected with some of the warmest, kindest, big hearted volunteers. Some of volunteers have had losses themselves, some volunteer because a family member or close friend has had a loss, and some who are volunteering just because they feel compelled to help.

 

In the last week alone, we have sent out over 100 sets of hats, blankets, and angel wings. When I published that blog 4 years ago I almost lowered the goal because I was afraid that we wouldn’t make it that goal. It is amazing what we are now doing on a weekly basis.

 

It is our mission through Project Robby to give parents who have lost a baby something special to hold onto when they are no longer able to hold their baby. We believe that all babies are special no matter how tiny, premature, or short their life here on Earth.

 

Thank you to all of our wonderful supporters who help us continue on with our mission.

 

Robby was born at 1 pound 4.4 ounces and 12 inches long. He was early and tiny, but he was perfect. When you go into premature labor, you aren’t prepared. We weren’t prepared. We didn’t have a camera, and we didn’t have a special hat or blanket for him.

Our kind nurse searched high and low for a hat at the hospital that would be small enough to fit his tiny head. Though there weren’t any tiny enough, she came back with a very precious small blue hat with a pom pom on the top.

The hat that Robby wore was so special to me. Yes it was too big, but it was special because he wore it. Even after I no longer had Robby to hold onto, I had his hat. It brought me comfort on countless occasions when I needed to feel close him. I slept with it, I carried it around in my hoodie pocket when I was at home, and when I left I put it into my purse and took it along. I didn’t have my baby, but I had that small piece of him.

As time went on that hat stayed at home when I left, and stayed under my pillow when I got up. Eventually it got put away in Robby’s memory box. As my grief journey progressed I stopped relying on the comfort of that hat; however, that does not mean that it means any less to me.

I don’t know the woman who so lovingly made this hat for me. She won’t ever know how much that little blue hat means to me, and what it represents.

It isn’t just a hat. It represents Robby’s life. It was a short life, but he mattered, he was loved, and he was here. That hat is a physical reminder of his existence.

That little blue hat with a pom pom on the top is what started Project Robby. It helped me get through some of the absolute hardest days of my life.

This is why it is our mission at Project Robby to make sure that every parent not only has something special to hold onto, but that the hat and blanket is the correct size for their baby.

All babies are special no matter how tiny, premature, or short their life here on Earth.