I didn’t just lose a pregnancy. I lost my first daughter- the baby I had dreamed of my entire life. I had never wanted anything in the world more than I wanted to be a mother and this horrible loss was the way I became one. I lost my innocence in pregnancy and I lost every hope and dream I had for her and our family. I lost my dream birth experience with our wonderful midwife team. I lost her first cries and her first steps. I’ve now lost 5 birthdays with her. I lost the honeymoon phase of my marriage, where instead we were brought closer together in grief. I lost late nights nursing her while she smiled in her sleep, like our second daughter later did. I lost the carefree excitement in that second pregnancy and only knew fear and pain. I lost the idea that I ever could’ve had both of my babies here with me. With every milestone Judy hits, we see what we lost when Helen died.
What her Project Robby Keepsake Set means to her:
Having things that were just her size meant that she was real, if only to her Daddy and Me. Sometimes it felt like we were so alone in missing her, but I knew we weren’t.