It was June 19, 2018. I was at work. I’m a Correctional Officer so showing emotion isn’t exactly something you can do. But I could feel something was off.
I went to the restroom and had some spotting. Not a lot to be alarmed of but enough to add to the nagging feeling I was already experiencing. I called my Captain and told him I needed to go home. 3 hours. It took 3 hours to get relieved. I felt numb and powerless. Knowing no matter how fast or how slow it took me to leave it wouldn’t change anything.
I went home to my BF. Told him we needed to go to the hospital. So we packed up our 7 month old daughter and headed out. While at the hospital the U/S tech sounded very excited to report to me baby was measuring at 8 weeks. But I told her that can’t be right I’m almost 13.
She then became silent the rest of the scan. And I knew why. They returned me to my room and I told my BF, I know our baby’s gone. The dr came in an hour later. “I’m sorry your baby had no cardiac activity”.
I knew it. I knew it in my soul. And I broke.
Going through the miscarriage at home was my breaking point. For both me and my boyfriend. It was so quick (pharmaceutically induced). I couldn’t process it all. Here I am 3 months later and I couldn’t go to work. I hated them for making me wait. I’m home trying to heal day by day.
What her Project Robby Keepsake Set means to her:
The keepsake set made me feel so thankful. That someone else believes my baby was indeed a loss.
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