I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy: Angela

Angela’s Story:

Our son Owen was born asleep on 7-12-18 at 16 weeks gestation.

 

What her Project Robby Keepsake Set means to her:

Since I did not choose to see my son after he was born, the keepsake set allows me to see just how tiny he was, and reminds me that there was so much love contained in such a small angel.

 

If you or someone you know would like more information on receiving a Project Robby Keepsake Set click here

If you have received a Keepsake or Bereavement Set and would like to be featured in our “I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy” Series click here

I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy: Deanna

Deanna’s Story:

In 2015 I found out I was pregnant I was excited yet scared because it was a 9 year wait from my first child. I was planning everything in my head for work, babysitting, godparents, moving, shopping etc.

At 4 weeks I schedule my 1st Dr. appointment at 6 weeks I arrive at my visit and there he/she was on the screen what looked like a little bean it was reality, it was love! As the Dr. is looking around measuring clicking pics he says I don’t see it Nancy do you (Nancy is the Drs assistant) she says no.

He looks around more and in my head I’m like he doesn’t see what I see the baby right there. He finishes up and says ok so there is no heart beat come back in a week it maybe too small to see! Nancy says alright my dear were gonna schedule your next appointment up front but if in the next few days if you see any spotting you may be having a miscarriage so come back in or go to the ER.

At this time I’m thinking a miscarriage? What? Not me why would i? I’m young, I’m healthy! The very next day the spotting came I head to the ER have my ultrasound and get confirmation there is no heart beat. My heart was broken I was mad, hurt, confused, scared and in disbelief.

I then have to schedule for my D & C. Have a few days of spotting and pain. Then there it was at 7 weeks my Angel went with the Lord. Before this I never knew much about having a miscarriage. I never knew these kind of things happened to us. I mean I heard about it but I was blind from it.

I am now a mother of an Angel that I think about daily! That I miss dearly! I feel like I missed out on him/her! A piece of me is missing! I will never forget! I love you baby! Until we meet in Heaven, for now watch over us and have fun with Jesus!

Love Mama.

What her Project Robby Keepsake Set means to her:

Receiving the keepsake set meant everything to me! Its my go to when I’m hurting or thinking about my baby. I now have something with me that i can look at and feel at peace knowing we will meet soon!

 

If you or someone you know would like more information on receiving a Project Robby Keepsake Set click here

If you have received a Keepsake or Bereavement Set and would like to be featured in our “I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy” Series click here

I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy: Myra

Myra’s Story:

I was pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl. I lost my baby girl at 17 weeks. My little boy is now 7 months old.

What her Project Robby Keepsake Set means to her: 

It gave my husband and I something tangible to have for my baby girl. Something to show her brother, my son that he had a sister and is now a twinless twin.

 

If you or someone you know would like more information on receiving a Project Robby Keepsake Set click here

If you have received a Keepsake or Bereavement Set and would like to be featured in our “I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy” Series click here

I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy: Tanya

We experienced infertility and early pregnancy loss while trying to grow our family. For the past 8 years, October has been a hard month for me. If our first pregnancy had been viable, we would have a child turning 8 years old this month and had our last pregnancy been viable, we would also have a 3 year old this month. Fittingly, October is also pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. Pregnancy loss is not something I ever gave much thought to before getting pregnant in 2010, but now it’s something that’s never far from my mind.

Four years into our infertility journey, we were blessed with a little boy. He is now almost 6 years old and asking many tough questions. A few years ago, in preparation for these hard questions, I wrote a couple of books for him. One book details how he came to be part of our family. The other book talks about his 6 heavenly siblings, which we lovingly refer to as our glory babies (a phrase we borrowed from a song by Watermark).

Several months ago, our son asked me to read the book I wrote for him to tell him about his glory baby siblings. When I was finished reading, he turned to me and asked me their names. I had to tell him they didn’t have names. He asked why, and I didn’t have a good answer for him. I asked him if we could pray and ask Jesus to name them but he wasn’t ok with this option. He told me we needed to give them names and he was quite adamant. I don’t remember how the conversation ended but it definitely stuck with me.

I talked to my husband and others about this conversation. Everyone agreed there wasn’t any reason not to give our babies names, especially since our son was asking and seemed to be upset that that they were nameless. We decided that if he brought it up again, we would work together to honor his request.

Later that week, he came to us one morning when he woke up and told us that we needed to name our babies. He went on to say that there were 3 boy babies and 3 girl babies and one of the boy babies was to be named Simon. Naming the babies had obviously been on his mind.

We told him that we would work together as a family to give our babies names. At this time, we were busy selling our house and moving; so the subject was dropped temporarily. He would occasionally mention it in passing but we didn’t have time or energy to focus on it. About a month ago, after we had settled from our move, he brought me the Glory Babies book I had written and asked me to read it. Again, he asked if they had been named yet. At that moment, they did not have names but we worked together and a few days later they had all been given names.

They had names but now what? My friend, Amanda, has a non-profit organization called Project Robby. In memory of her son Robby, who was born too soon, she sends blankets, hats, and angel wings to parents who leave the hospital with empty arms, no matter the gestation. She has many people who donate blankets, hats, and angel wings to her organization but there are many other expenses (shipping being the biggest). Every year, she does a couple of fundraisers to help cover the costs of operating the non-profit. The fall fundraiser is a virtual walk. She has t-shirts made for people to purchase, and the proceeds go to Project Robby. On the back of the shirts, parents who have lost babies can have their babies’ names listed. My friend put out the request for names for the 2018 shirts right around the time we were talking about naming our babies and we decided to add their names to the list.

We got our shirts last month and our son has been so proud to wear his shirt. He’s told several people that his babies’ names are on the shirt. I love that he has something tangible to wear in memory of his siblings. It is amazing how much peace this small act has brought our family. And even more amazing that it was initiated by a 5 year old. Pregnancy loss doesn’t just affect the woman or the couple, it affects the entire family. I may never have thought to name our glory babies, but I’m thankful our son encouraged us to do so. Now when we talk about his siblings, we can refer to them by name.

44235367_240713966624612_1266732477183950848_n

❤️Micah John❤

🧡Simon Hans🧡

💛Elizabeth Hope💛

💚Josiah Mark💚

💙Lydia Faith💙

💜Selah Joy💜

I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy: Tina

Tina’s Story:

My son Cody was still born. We lost him October 2, 2017. Everything about my pregnancy was considered “normal”. I have never felt that kind of sadness before. As a new mom you plan for all of the new adventures, dream about what his first word is going to be, and who is he going to look like more. Though it is been a year since we lost him, he will always be my son, and I will love him with all my heart until I see him again🦋💙

What her Project Robby Keepsake Set means to her: 

This Keepsake set really allowed us to be more open about our son to the world. Sometimes it’s hard to talk about losing a child. However you never know how it can heal, help, or open doors for other people if you are brave enough to talk about infancy loss. This set means the world to us and is lit up on our mantle.

If you or someone you know would like more information on receiving a Project Robby Keepsake Set click here

If you have received a Keepsake or Bereavement Set and would like to be featured in our “I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy” Series click here

I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy: Angelica

Angelica’s Story: 

In June 2014 we found out we were pregnant. We had been trying for almost a year. When I was pregnant with my first child, I knew she was a girl almost from the day I found out I was carrying her. With this one, even though I wanted another girl so much, I KNEW he was a boy right away. On July 2nd, 2014 we lost Erich at 4 weeks 6 days. It was one of the most painful things my heart ever had to go through. We haven’t been able to get pregnant again since, which hurts just as much.

 

 

What her Project Robby Keepsake Set means to her:

As I hadn’t even had an ultrasound yet, I had nothing tangible to hold after my loss. The day I received my keepsake set I cried. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever been given. Now I had something to hold!

photo

If you or someone you know would like more information on receiving a Project Robby Keepsake Set click here

If you have received a Keepsake or Bereavement Set and would like to be featured in our “I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy” Series click here

I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy: Sarah

Sarah’s story:

I found out about my loss July 17, 2018. I got those words no one ever wants to hear…         “I’m sorry there’s no heartbeat.”

The following week I found out I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks gestation. I was devastated. I had to go in for a D&C. Through it all, even though no one was mean about, no one offered me anything to help with my grief. I received no ultrasound pictures, nothing. It was like everyone expected me to just forget about my baby.

What her Project Robby Keepsake Set means to her:

When I found Project Robby it brought me to tears. This meant I could have something to remember my baby by. When I received my package in the mail it truly meant the world to me. It meant the world that someone took the time to help a stranger with their grief when everyone else had expected to just pushed aside.

 

If you or someone you know would like more information on receiving a Project Robby Keepsake Set click here

If you have received a Keepsake or Bereavement Set and would like to be featured in our “I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy” Series click here

I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy: Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn’s Story:

Tuesday, August 21,2018 was just like any other day. I had gotten out of bed, and was gonna get ready for work. I showered and as soon as I was changing, I don’t remember anything else.

My mom found me fainted and rushed me to the ER. I was pregnant with a little boy who was as healthy as can be, and very much alive, his heart was beating perfectly.

The only problem, he was in the wrong place… He was in my Fallopian Tube making it an Ectopic Pregnancy.

At that moment my tube had ruptured and I was bleeding internally and had to have emergency surgery ASAP. I remember, I kept asking the doctors about my baby. That’s all I cared about no matter if they had told me I was slowly dying. I just wanted to make sure my baby would be fine. That is when they informed me, there was nothing they could do, with pregnancies like this unfortunately they have to remove the baby. My heart dropped at that moment.

My sweet little boy was just gonna get ripped away from me within a matter of seconds and there’s nothing I could do to save him. I not only lost my right tube and my right ovary. I lost a child, what would’ve been my second son.

 

What her Project Robby Keepsake Set means to her:

Being that I never got to see my baby, or hold him, or give him lots of kisses and hugs. It’s really taken a toll on me. I didn’t have anything to remember him by. That’s when I found out about Project Robby.

I requested my keepsake and just counted the days till I’d get it. When I opened my package, I was in absolute tears. I fell in love immediately. Everything was just so beautiful! Although a piece of me will always be missing, being able to have a keepsake in memory of my sweet Angelo, fills in that hole ❤️

 

If you or someone you know would like more information on receiving a Project Robby Keepsake Set click here

If you have received a Keepsake or Bereavement Set and would like to be featured in our “I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy” Series click here

I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy: Jillian

Jillian’s Story:

It was June 19, 2018. I was at work. I’m a Correctional Officer so showing emotion isn’t exactly something you can do. But I could feel something was off.

I went to the restroom and had some spotting. Not a lot to be alarmed of but enough to add to the nagging feeling I was already experiencing. I called my Captain and told him I needed to go home. 3 hours. It took 3 hours to get relieved. I felt numb and powerless. Knowing no matter how fast or how slow it took me to leave it wouldn’t change anything.

I went home to my BF. Told him we needed to go to the hospital. So we packed up our 7 month old daughter and headed out. While at the hospital the U/S tech sounded very excited to report to me baby was measuring at 8 weeks. But I told her that can’t be right I’m almost 13.

She then became silent the rest of the scan. And I knew why. They returned me to my room and I told my BF, I know our baby’s gone. The dr came in an hour later. “I’m sorry your baby had no cardiac activity”.

I knew it. I knew it in my soul. And I broke.

Going through the miscarriage at home was my breaking point. For both me and my boyfriend. It was so quick (pharmaceutically induced). I couldn’t process it all. Here I am 3 months later and I couldn’t go to work. I hated them for making me wait. I’m home trying to heal day by day.

 

What her Project Robby Keepsake Set means to her:

The keepsake set made me feel so thankful. That someone else believes my baby was indeed a loss.

 

If you or someone you know would like more information on receiving a Project Robby Keepsake Set click here

If you have received a Keepsake or Bereavement Set and would like to be featured in our “I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy” Series click here

I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy: Krystal

Krystal’s Story:

One year ago (September 2017) I found out I was pregnant. I was SO EXCITED because I have always wanted a baby. I’ve always dreamed of being a mom. I even have journals that I write to my future children in-that I began in June of 2007 on my wedding day. I’ve had boy and girl names that I’ve chosen for years before I even met my husband. I talk about my children as if they already exist and I always have. They are loved and wanted and so precious.

So when I went for my first ultrasound (8 weeks 5 days) and saw that little heart beating I wanted to be happy but I could tell by the ultrasound techs change of emotion that something was wrong. —and unfortunately, something was wrong. My sweet baby was measuring smaller than expected (5 weeks 3 days) and the heartbeat wasn’t as strong as it should be. Two days later and I lost my baby naturally at what should have been 9 weeks to the day.

I remember that moment so vividly. I was crying my eyes out-not because of the physical pain but the because of the emotional and mental torture of what this meant. I remember apologizing to my baby over and over “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-Mommy is so sorry” as my body failed me in keeping my baby safe and alive.

We don’t know why. We don’t the gender of our precious little one. I just knew I had to honor my baby by naming him or her… so together we chose a name that could be for a boy or a girl. *Payton Leigh Morrow*

On September 15, 2017 I didn’t just lose a pregnancy- I didn’t just lose a baby- I lost an entire future. I lost memories we never got to make and birthday parties we never got to plan. I lost hopes and dreams and instead was given pain and tears and thoughts of “what if” and “what could have been”. I was terrified to try again. It took an entire year (literally- one year exactly) and here we are September 2018 and I’m losing my second precious baby at the same time in my pregnancy as before. We chose the name *London Parker* for this sweet baby. I’m a mess of emotions and I don’t understand why-I probably never will. I still love and trust God. I still have hope and I still pray. I will keep trying despite the heartbreak. I hope and pray that I will get to keep and hold a baby here on this Earth. For now, I just grieve for the future that I don’t get to have with the two babies that I will forever love and miss.

What her Project Robby Keepsake Set means to her:

I found out about Project Robby and asked for a keepsake set. They sent me a beautiful hat, blanket, and angel wings. I cried in my car as I put the little hat on the tip of my finger. This sweet keepsake set makes me feel like I have something tangible to hold on to since I can’t hold my sweet Payton. I tell everyone I know that has been through a loss about Project Robby. I’m so thankful for their love and generosity. They are amazing.

 

If you or someone you know would like more information on receiving a Project Robby Keepsake Set click here

 

If you have received a Keepsake or Bereavement Set and would like to be featured in our “I Didn’t Just Lose a Pregnancy” Series click here